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  • Writer's picturePamela

Because we’re all hands-and-knees desperate

Updated: Sep 18, 2023

I’ve always been a vivid dreamer. And apparently having babies kicked that into high gear!


Not long after the birth of our first daughter, I began having a crazy, repetitive dream. During the already-sleep-deprived night, I would dream that I had fallen asleep while nursing my baby girl and dropped her. (Can you moms relate?) And the dream was so intense, my husband, John, would find me on my hands and knees on the floor groping in the darkness calling out, “Lindsy . . . Lindsy . . . Lindsy,” as if she would answer. He would sleepily say from the bed, “Honey, Lindsy’s fine. She’s in her crib. Come back to bed.” But seriously, how in the world would he know that? I was the one who fed and dropped her! The dream was so vivid, John would often have to get out of bed to get me up out of my groping position to help me back into bed. Or sometimes I would have to go into the nursery to confirm my baby girl’s whereabouts. I can’t tell you how many times I actually did this!

I was reminded of these crazy dreams last week when I read Paul’s sermon on Mars Hill where he said,

“And He made from one man every nation of mankind to live on all the face of the earth, . . . that they would seek God, if perhaps they might grope for Him and find Him, though He is not far from each one of us;

for in Him we live and move and exist” (Acts 17:26-28a).

I feel like Paul at first said we should “seek God” and then decided to kick it up an notch and said, “No, grope for Him!”

When I stop to think about what groping for God might look like, I wonder if He sees me passionately grope for Him like I did for my baby girl in the night. Whether it’s in those moments that are so dark I can’t see my hand in front of my face, or when there’s so much clutter my view is blocked, or the rest of the time when He’s promised me that there’s so much more to be found – do I get on my hands and knees and grope for God until I find Him? The Acts’ verse says He’s “not far”!

We need to grope “to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God” (Ephesians 3:18-19).

Even though “His greatness is unsearchable” (Psalm 145:3), He still tells us “You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart” (Jeremiah 29:13).

How much do we miss out on when we don’t grope for God? What is He longing to show us if we’ll just get on our hands and knees and go after Him? And what dimensions will that add to our worship when we delve into those greater depths of our God?

“He made” each and every one of us “that [we] would seek God, if perhaps [we] might grope for Him and find Him.”

Because we’re all hands-and-knees desperate.

That is very much a part of how He longs for us to “live and move and exist” and “be filled up to all the fullness of God.”

Let’s not just read about God. Let’s not just pray casual prayers and say passive words of worship to Him. Let’s invite Him to show us how to literally grope for the greater depths of who He is. He promises to be found! And then let’s respond in worship.

Why do you think it’s so hard for us to realize we’re hands-and-knees desperate? Or is it that we know, but we can’t be still long enough to truly grope for God?

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